While thinking about the concept of apologies (and singing into my hairbrush along to One Republic/Timbaland's "Apologize"), I came to the following conclusions:
1) Apologies are almost never for the wronged party. They are to make the apologizer feel better, no matter how small or gargantuan the damage. I have a dear friend who went through a vitriolic and terribly public divorce and she is the person who taught me this. Yes, even after my whole "apology tour of 2005-2007 at the hands of that guy", I still needed to hear it from a girlfriend.
2) A "non-apology apology" is even worse than no apology. You know what I mean. Is it better to be right or to be happy?
3) In order to reduce one's sentence/make bond/get paroled, IT IS KEY that you apologize, even if you don't mean one word of it. Hell, I'd apologize if it meant getting out of jail earlier. I've seen "Double Jeopardy"!
4) We need to sharpen our bullshit-o-meters to weed out what remorse really is. And by "we", I mean Judges.
I think we all need to quit this apology crap for now and just live without hurting one another. However, if I accidentally smack you with my handbag on line at the coffee place, I will say "I'm sorry" - and I will mean it.
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